The Adventures In Life: Archive

5 tags

Feb 15th

1 note

jessieholleyphotography asked: how big?

Jan 11th

10 tags

Dear Diary, Last night, I went to Michael’s for a sleep over. I showed up after he was asleep and without him outwardly asking me to come over, but I knew it was okay. You know what, Diary? His skin is like cotton candy. So sweet, and it just seems to melt in your mouth. I spent the whole night licking his face, hands and feet. I didn’t even have time to sleep. I also took a few...

Sep 13th

9 notes

May 20th

Dear Diary, Michael got a haircut. How do I know? After ditching my other responsibilities and following him non-stop for the past month and a half, he went into a hair salon. I guess he’s so manly, he was trying to feminize himself. HA! As if you could get rid of all that testosterone. Anyways, he went in, got his hair cut and with my luck, his hair was the last to go in the bag before it...

May 19th

Dear Diary, I don’t think I should follow Michael around anymore. I don’t think it’s worth it. He doesn’t notice me, doesn’t know who I am. Nothing. HAHA! April fools, Michael! April fools. -Bekah M. P.S.- Don’t open your closet, I’m not done smelling everything of yours.

Apr 2nd

Dec 10th

Dec 9th

Dear Diary, Christmas is coming up and I’ve been thinking real hard about what to get him. I remember overhearing him say something about wanting some calendars full of half-dressed cowboys as I was listening in from the bug I planted in his house. My guess is he wants the calendar to look for fashion ideas. After all, cowboys have the best attire; second only to firemen. Haha, suspenders....

Dec 9th

Dear Diary, Yesterday, I followed Michael from his work to his home. I then perched myself on his roof and waited until he fell into a deep slumber. The fool, how he makes my body tremble and sweat. Once he fell asleep, I let myself into the unlocked door. It felt locked at first, but my pure skill and ambition unlocked it. Michael also needs to fix the door frame; it’s broken. Maybe...

Nov 28th

Sep 30th

Dear Diary, I seen Michael today. On the bus, but he didn’t see me at first. While he was paying the bus fare, I grabbed my knife I keep on me for safety and when he passed by, I grabbed his arm, showed him my knife and growled “sit here” at him. He sat down looking terrified, the blood literally drained from his face. Ha ha, all part of this inside joke we have going where I...

Sep 30th

Dear Diary, It’s been a while and I’m very sorry for my absence, but I’ve been away. Where you ask? In an asylum because my mom and therapist thought my relationship with Michael was obsessive and borderline psychotic. I showed my mom who’s boss by taking my hot water I was going to use for my tea and throwing it in her face, pot and all. She’s still in the hospital,...

Sep 23rd

Dear Diary, It’s been a rough couple days. I was so upset Michael didn’t care to reach me on Wednesday that I cried a river of someone else’s tears. Making someone else cry is how I deal with sadness. I did go to school today and I did hang out with Michael. I mean, it’s still considered hanging out if he doesn’t see me and I’m hiding and just listening to him...

Apr 16th

Dear Diary, I was sick today. I think it may have been a repercussion from eating all that junk on the weekend and not taking my insulin. Yeah, you’re right, that couldn’t be it. Being home sick is one thing, but Michael didn’t call me or stop by or even crawl through my second-story window to check on me. I swear I now have a water bed because of all those tears I cried. It...

Apr 14th

Dear Diary, Turns out Michael is FINE. Now, you may be asking yourself, “then where WAS that piece of man-meat?” I’ll tell you. He decided to spend the weekend in a secluded cabin in the mountains far from civilization with his soul-mate. Strange name for a guy best friend right? I just got SO angry he didn’t tell me where he was after I overheard him telling his friends...

Apr 12th

Dear Diary, It’s Sunday and my hopes are low. I’m drowning in the waves of sadness I feel from not knowing if he’s dead or alive. I don’t understand. He must be dead or otherwise he would have called me, his future wife and mother of his children, and told me I had no need to worry. Michael doesn’t know my number, but that shouldn’t stop our one-sided love. The...

Apr 11th

Dear Diary, I am cold, wet and tired. Worst of all, I haven’t found Michael. I mean, I didn’t know exactly where to look or even if he was really missing, but I thought the lake would’ve been a good guess, an accurate guess. He hasn’t messaged me either, even though he doesn’t have my email, which means he must be still missing. I swear on my sold soul which is now...

Apr 11th

Dear Diary, This is urgent, like someone’s need to go to the bathroom when they have the stomach flu. MICHAEL WAS NOT IN SCHOOL TODAY! I mean, he said he was at CBC, but that could stand for ANYTHING! Cut Baby’s Corpse is an example. Why baby? HE IS MY BABY, at least in my heart. I have to make this brief. I’m starting a one-woman man-hunt for him. Dead or alive, sleeping or...

Apr 10th

Apr 8th

Dear Diary. It’s Thursday and guess what? Yeah, I chickened out. UGH! I’m such a pansy. Why can’t I just tell Michael how I feel? I mean, what the worst he can do? Stab me and throw me to drown in an ocean. Can’t be much worse. I already feel like I’ve been stabbed this hurts so much and I already drown in his eyes. I was on his facebook, looking at his photos in a...

Apr 8th

Dear Diary, It’s Sunday and you won’t believe it! Michael Douglas Dunn is talking…to me! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! You don’t know how excited I am. I mean, he’s talking about how many guys he’s boned (weird right? He’s not even gay!), but still, he’s talking to ME! He asked me earlier what I was wearing. So glad he couldn’t see me, I was laughing and...

Apr 5th

Dear Diary, Here we are again. Same class, same time, same eyes staring at that corn head of his. *SIGH* Maybe one day he’ll notice me looking at him, maybe one day he’ll see how much I care for him with my room dedicated to him in a totally NOT creepy way. Like with that shrine I made to him and that full size statue of his naked body made from corn rinds. Tasty. I just want to dive...

Apr 5th

Dear Diary, I’m watching Michael, or Smarckel as I like to call him, as I type. Why won’t he look at me? Oh no, he is…look down, LOOK DOWN. He thinks I’m weird and obsessive. So what if I wash my hands exactly 7 times after I bathe? That’s not weird or obsessive. His hair, oh his hair, it’s yellow like that of corn, straw or baby puke and his eyes, those eyes,...

Apr 5th

I work a graveyard shift as it’s the only time I can raid the graves.

Jan 3rd

Dear Diary, Today is January 2nd, 2010. It’s Saturday. I’ve realized I have to go back to school on Monday. Nothing else. -Bekah M

Jan 3rd

Dear Diary, Today is January 1st, 2010. It’s New Year’s and I’m sick. I’ve realized I have no immune system. I blame my brother. -Bekah M

Jan 1st

It’s raining cats and dogs. Looks like dreams do come true.

Jan 1st

Keep your chin up, it’s easier to hit that way.

Dec 31st

Dear Diary, Today is December 31th, 2009. Today is New Year’s Eve. I’ve realized nothing. Peace. -Bekah M

Dec 31st

Dear Diary, Today is December 30th, 2009. Today I was playing Super Mario on the Wii. I’ve realized the game makes me very angry. Mario runs like he’s drunk. I want to punch him in the nose. -Bekah M

Dec 30th

Actions speak louder than words. Especially if these words come from the people you have done the actions to. People can scream loud.

Dec 30th

Jimmy cracked corn and I don’t care, but I snapped his arm off and I think he did care.

Dec 29th

Dear Diary, Today is December 29th, 2009. Today I made my friend homesick. I’ve realized she’s not coming back for another 6 months. I offered to send her my arm as a condolence. -Bekah M

Dec 29th

Dear Diary, Today is December 28th, 2009. Today I get to go to the hospital. I’ve realized that my body doesn’t like to stay healthy. If I had a cattle brander, I could teach it a lesson. -Bekah M

Dec 28th

Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity also did my job.

Dec 28th

Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Does whatever a spider can! Like eat bugs and shit.

Dec 27th

Dear Diary, Today is December 27th, 2009. Today I get to work. For 14+ hours. I’ve realized that I am going to die. No burial, burn me. -Bekah M

Dec 27th

Dear Diary, Today is December 26th, 2009. Today I started to scan old pictures. I’ve realized that this is going to take a while. Why do I start these things? -Bekah M

Dec 26th

Of all the things I’ve ever lost, I miss my mind the most. That’s a lie, I think I miss my sanity the most. The voices say they don’t.

Dec 26th

I got a Snuggie today. No sarcasm, just an observation.

Dec 25th

Dear Diary, Today is December 25th, 2009. Today I returned from being kidnapped from raptors. I’ve realized that the past couple days were extremely dangerous. This post has been a lie. -Bekah M

Dec 25th

Happy Holidays!

jakeandamir: Tumblr users: Reblog this post by Dec. 26th and we will follow your blog by Jan. 1st!

Dec 25th

1,103 notes

Dear Diary, Today is December 20th, 2009. Today I slept all day. I’ve realized I’m extremely lazy. This is lame. -Bekah M.

Dec 21st

Why is it that I can’t fly. Birds can fly, but when I sew their wings to my back, I can’t.

Dec 21st

Cat’s in the cradle with the silver spoon. Silly cat. Eating my supper.

Dec 20th

Dear Diary, Today is December 19th, 2009. Today was the first day of the winter break. I’ve realized I’ve slept for the majority of the day. I’m going back to sleep -Bekah M.

Dec 20th

Dear Diary, Today is December 18th, 2009. Today was the last day of school before the Winter break. I’ve realized I’m going to become a hermit for the next two weeks. If only I could grow a beard… -Bekah M.

Dec 18th

Which is better, cooking for or with babies? My vote is on babies, the world’s tastiest meat.

Dec 18th

I’ve realized staying outside in the cold has repurcussions, like being cold.

Dec 18th